missing pieces/i will tear you down (Simon's POV)

it always turns out this way, doesn't it? the world is slicked with blood and everything smells like fear. another broken body, another candle blown out and left to spill its life across the floor. missing pieces, like a puzzle. missing pieces.

i don't know where i've put them.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

i will tear you down with the twist i bring.

there aren't enough pills in the world to keep my head on straight. alcoholic voices- hazy as the thoughts they've interrupted, crawl into my mind like hungry insects, searching. weakness. they always find it. whispers. guiding voices in the grey storm. not enough, oh, never enough. it's gone too long, and there's a stranger wearing my skin, creeping through the darkness. blood fixes what good intentions never could, blood purifies the cloudy mind, and stops the trembling.

mine, theirs... watching, distant, the blackest feeling, waiting... my fingers are numb, my face a mask, my eyes hard and so far away. all to hide the howling abyss inside, the wail of forever unfed, the twist of immortality brought to a broken mind. forever, forever, forever, starving like a hunter's hounds, snapping, snarling, and no one hears this chaos but me.

one, two... three.

it's never enough, only a momentary pause in the seethe of anger, insanity, and desperation, but this... this slip of flesh, these fragile bones...

i can forget myself a while, lost inside the clinical dissection of all i can never have.